Atlanta’s Clermont Hotel is for sale, and Maxine wants it. It’s precioussssssss!
Well, it was.
It is now considered one of America’s Top 20 Dive Bars and Maxine NEEDS IT!!!!!!
They even have a stripper named “Blondie,” whose claim to fame is her talent at crushing beer cans with her breasticles!!!
We would, of course, rename it the real Maxine’s House of Ill Repute, and all Fart Blossoms would get in for free.
We figure they want about $10 million dollars for it, but they may want less if we don’t want the velvet wallpaper.
This is real estate worth owning, even in a recession! We could all be self-employed! Moguls!
We wants it!
We must haves it!
Our precioussss!
I’m just askin’…..
10 Comments
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
Leave a comment
“They even have a stripper named “Blondie,” whose claim to fame is her talent at crushing beer cans with her breasticles!!!”
My breasticles shreaked in horror at the thought. However, I think I could work over a beer can with my butt clenching musclanity.
MAXINE SAYS… Ooooh, a new draw!
That would be great! We could party all night on saturday, and then set up a room for Sunday services…make it the ideal place for a one stop weekend!
MAXINE SAYS… You could be my bar manager!!!
Maybe the living things residing in the velvet wallpaper will sprout legs and just carry the whole place over to your ‘hood!
It’s probably gonna be the next Ian Schager property and they’ll clean it up and make the hotesses wear boy shorts and bras like at the Hudson (as reported to me by Traveling Spouse).
MAXINE SAYS… Oh, that would TOTALLY ruin it! It must remain sleazy! PBR FOREVER!
I wanna show my breasticles.
MAXINE SAYS… You’re hired!
This thing is bitchin’ HOT…you simply must have it!!!!!
How many rooms does it have??? You’d get your money back in no time in “VIP happy- ending room service”. Also…just a thought, but I just rented that movie 1408…the Stephen King onea bout the haunted hotel room…maybe you could have one of those things going for the tourists or the freaks or both…like I said…just a thought.
MAXINE SAYS… We could make that place Atlanta’s #1 tourist attraction - even bigger than the aquarium or World of Coca-Cola!!!! Yeah, we should totally have a room haunted by a pissed off ghost of a stripper! Great idea!!!!
Red beat me to it…I wanna show my breasticles too! And I want tassles. Maybe I could have the morning shift when all the really fun people come in to tank up for the day. I’ll get that morning crowd into an excellent mood.
MAXINE SAYS… Maybe you could hand out PBR’s to the morning commuters with your butt-cheeks?
I’ll get right on that. I’m sure I can come up with the money… just give me a few years.
MAXINE SAYS… I knew I could count on you. Eventually.
Damn– when I win my Mega Millions jackpot, I’m buying this for you. I can’t crush beer cans with my breasticles, but I can make iced tea shoot out of my mouth when I read your posts– do you think anyone pay to see that?
MAXINE SAYS… Probably not. Can you make beer shoot out any of your other orifices?
“would pay”
Shit. Never mind. I’ll just be the coat check girl.
MAXINE SAYS… Honey, the folks that go there don’t have coats.